He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize