You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
