Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Randomize
