If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I faked an abortion last night.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
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