I can't watch pbs sober anymore
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
