he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize