Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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