I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
