Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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