If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
