I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
