I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I will be naked everywhere
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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