If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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