Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball