if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
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Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
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ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.