Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
