found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
