Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
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