Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
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