why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize