Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
