we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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