so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
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