I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
wow bdsm is so cute
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