i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
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