Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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