I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
