brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
so explain again why im purple
no
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
