I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
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