You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
