Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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