can u get pink eye on your cock?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
Randomize
