I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i was born a porn star she said
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
