Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Randomize
