I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
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so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
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Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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