yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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