Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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