my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Randomize