Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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