i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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