she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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