3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Randomize