No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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