You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Randomize
