Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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