just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
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All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize