there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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