Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Randomize
