I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
