remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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