is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Randomize
