WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
I smell stomach acid.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
