sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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