I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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