Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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