I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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