Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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