weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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